By a Thread Read online

  “Bullshit,” she said, and looked over to see Millie and Patrick making their way back to the table with drinks. “I can out-drink all of you, probably most people at this bar.”

  “Sadly, that’s a true statement.” Billy winked at her and took his beer from Patrick. “Let’s put a wager on it. The one who pukes first has to take us all out to dinner tomorrow night.”

  “I’m not puking,” Patrick said.

  “Well, then you don’t have to worry about it, do you.” Billy ran his hand through his hair and pulled his glasses off, hanging them in the collar of his shirt. “The rules are as follows: (1) Everyone drinks the same amount. First one finished forces everyone to get another round. (2) You bow out, you lose. (3) You pass out, you lose. (4) You puke…”

  “You lose,” Stella finished for him. “Millie’s out. She’s a ‘normal’ girl, she can’t hang.”

  “Excuse me, I can drink with the best of ’ em.” Millie pouted, offended that Stella didn’t think she could hold her liquor.

  “Mill, this isn’t about you being able to drink or hold your liquor. This is about being able to drink as much as me and hold your liquor.”

  Millie had seen Stella drink several bottles of wine by herself in one night without even getting a hangover the next day. “Okay, I’m out.”

  “Good,” Patrick said. “I’m in, and I’ll win.”

  The three of them kept up with each other until 3:30 in the morning, when Stella decided she wanted to go for a swim. As she got up she teetered on her heels and then walked to the bathroom. She heard Millie come in after her, giggling.

  “I’m so drunk,” Millie commented. “I still look okay though,” she said looking at herself in the mirror.

  Stella exited the stall and looked at Millie in the mirror. “I hope you groomed yourself today. We are going skinny dipping.”

  A squeal escaped Millie’s lips, “I’ve never been skinny dipping. Where is there a pool?”

  “There’s a hotel with an indoor pool a couple of blocks from here,” Stella opened the door.

  “We’ll have to sneak in,” she whispered.

  They walked to the bar, “George, we need our tab. We’re going swimming ,” Millie said looking around cautiously. “Naked.”

  George’s eyes crinkled with laughter, “That should be fun, Millie.”

  “I’ve never been before… shhh, don’t tell anyone.”

  “Mill, just act like you’ve done it before. Haven’t you learned anything in law school? Perception is 95 percent of the game.” Stella released a loud hiccup and then put her hand to her mouth. Millie burst out laughing. Stella put her debit card on the receipt and winked at George, ignoring the hiccup. “Right, George?”

  “Something like that,” he replied.

  Stella and Millie waved goodbye to him as they grabbed Billy and Patrick on their way to the door. “It’s this way,” Stella said, gesturing for the group to follow.

  “What’s this way? Our house is this way.” Billy motioned towards their house, confused. Stella put her arm through the gap between his arm and his body, linking their arms together to steady herself.

  “We Are Going Skinny Dipping,” Stella said smiling. She hiccupped again and started laughing.

  “We are?” Patrick asked with a giggle. Everyone stopped walking and turned to look at him.

  “Did you just giggle?” Millie asked, shock on her face.

  “You may be the one to puke tonight…” Stella winked at Billy as they laughed at their usually stoic roommate.

  “No puking, just naked swimming with beautiful people,” Patrick said with a wide grin.

  “Thanks, Patrick,” Billy said laughing.

  When they got to the boutique hotel on King Street, Stella shushed them and told them to follow her lead. She walked confidently up to the clerk at the desk.

  “Hi, I’m drunk and I lost my room key.” Stella said cheerfully.

  “Okay, give me your ID and I will get you another key.”

  The clerk took in the four of them, trying to stifle a grin.

  “Oh wait, aren’t you Missy’s dad?” The clerk examined her, “Yes?”

  Stella pointed at herself, “Cooper.”

  His entire demeanor changed, “You mean the runner with the huge tattoo?”

  She awkwardly pulled her collar down in the back to show him her tattoo. “The one.” She turned to face Millie, Patrick, and Billy. “Cooper loves Missy, his dog,” she stage-whispered. She racked her brain trying to come up with his name before turning around and realizing it was on his nametag. “Steve,” she smiled. “Can I ask a favor?”

  “Of course,” he replied.

  “I’m here with a friend of mine and we just want to get him back to his room. He lost his entire wallet and he’s so hammered he doesn’t know what room he’s in. He knows it’s on the fifth floor in the very back of the hotel.” She smiled, “He said the window was useless.” She whispered the last part, as if trying to preserve the reputation of the hotel.

  “Let me check,” he starting looking on the computer. “How is Cooper doing?”

  “Great, he’s obsessed with the cookies at the dog bakery around the corner, but that’s why we run.” She chuckled and so did Steve.

  “520?” He said looking at Billy.

  Billy nodded his head, “That’s it.” He hit himself in the forehead with his palm to overdramatically show what an idiot he was.

  “Okay, Mr. Williams, I’ll just need you to sign this saying we issued you another key.”

  “Sure,” he walked over and signed a name so messy no one would be able to tell what it said. Steve handed the key to Billy and looked back at Stella.

  “It’s so good to see you, I didn’t recognize you without spandex on.”

  Stella giggled playfully and said, “That sounds dirty, Steve.”

  He blushed and watched them make their way onto the elevator.

  “I’m glad you wear spandex all the time,” Patrick slurred, nodding appreciatively.

  “Me too,” agreed Billy.

  Millie giggled and pointed at the sign showing the way to the indoor pool. They used the key to get into the pool area and started taking their clothes off. Stella pulled off her shirt, jeans, bra, and underwear unceremoniously and jumped in the pool.

  “Hey,” scowled Billy, “I didn’t even get to see anything.” He and Patrick both turned to Millie, who was demurely taking her jeans off and folding them on a pool lounger.

  “What?” Millie blushed, “I’ll make you both turn around if you don’t stop staring.”

  Patrick and Billy busied themselves with their own clothes. Patrick jumped in the water splashing Stella, and Billy eased down the stairs.

  “Not bad, fellas,” Stella said enthusiastically of Patrick and Billy’s physique.

  Stella was trying to dunk Patrick under the water when Millie attempted to run to jump into the pool and had just yelled “CANNONBALL,” when she tripped and fell before reaching the pool. Everyone erupted in laughter; Millie started crying she was laughing so hard. Then she crawled the couple of feet to the pool and rolled in unceremoniously.

  The next morning Stella woke with Millie in the bed next to her, both with their hair slicked back to their heads. Her head pounded. She walked to the bathroom quietly for some pain medication. She hadn’t been this hung over in a very long time. After swimming last night, they had lain on the lounge chairs talking until the morning, all partially dressed. When Steve woke them up, scolding them for passing out in the closed pool, Stella had been draped over Billy. Millie and Patrick spooned on the lounge chair next to them. Stella had apologized profusely while pulling on her jeans. All of them were still drunk and silent for most of the way home. She still wasn’t sure how they’d made it home. Her memory took her up and until Billy had put his arm around her shoulder and held her upright as they’d exited the pool. Patrick had puked in the trashcan and then followed them out, dragging Millie by the hand. As soon as they got home
they all respectively passed out again.

  “Holy shit,” Millie groaned from the bed. “Did I throw up?”

  “Patrick.” Stella replied and smiled.

  “Ugh, I feel horrid.”

  “You look it too.”

  “Oh my God, did you notice Patrick last night? Naked?” Millie pulled the pillow over her face.

  “Yes.” Stella responded and got back in bed.

  “He is the hottest man I’ve ever seen naked.”

  “Really? That’s pretty sad.” She laughed.

  “No. I’m serious. How can you not think he has one of the hottest naked bodies you’ve ever seen?” Millie turned and looked at Stella. “I mean, seriously hot. Did you see he has that arrow muscle?”

  “What?” Stella was confused.

  “You know, the muscles that point to his dick, the arrow to his dick. Good God,” she groaned. “I almost jumped him last night.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t. It would’ve been a little gauche.” Stella had her arm draped over her eyes.

  “Did you just say gauche?” She laughed, “You’re so weird.”

  Stella laughed briefly, but stopped because it made her headache worse.

  “He will be mine.” Millie put her feet on the floor. “We need food that’s really bad for us. Let’s go.”

  The last three months of law school were a blur of reading and studying for finals. She and Millie had worked out a schedule to study with the group for a couple hours a day, then by themselves. Stella had created a “finals” playlist full of soothing music on her phone, and listened while she studied.

  After her last final, which had been that morning, she’d come back to the house to lay outside in the sun. For five hours she alternated between sleeping and reading a fiction book she’d been pining after for the last year. At around four, she opened a bottle of white wine that had been cooling in the fridge, turned up Mumford & Sons, and started cooking. She was making dinner for the house tonight for the boys.

  Singing and swaying to the music, she cut the vegetables. Cooper, knowing their old routine, came into the kitchen and looked at her expectantly. Stella smiled. “What? You want to dance?” she asked. She used to always cook dinner for Jamie while listening to music and dancing around the kitchen. Back then, Cooper would hear the music and stand on his hind legs, big paws on her chest, and let her guide him around the kitchen. That was when she was happy. They hadn’t danced in awhile. Stella patted her chest and Cooper obliged. They danced around the room for a few minutes before Patrick came into the kitchen, unnoticed because the volume of the music.

  Cooper ran over to Patrick wagged the entire back half of his body in hello. “Hey man, you got pretty good moves for a fat guy.” Patrick talked directly to Cooper. He looked up at Stella, “What you cooking?”

  “Whatever I want and you’ll like it,” she replied.

  “I’m sure I will.” Patrick moved past her and into his room.

  She began making the stuffing for the eggplant that was roasting. Singing to herself, she stiffened when she felt arms around her waist pulling her into a hug. “What?” she asked.

  “It’s just that seeing you a little bit happy or lackadaisical makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.” Patrick laughed. Letting go of her, he grabbed her wine, taking a huge gulp.

  “You’re weird,” she said, nudging his arm and forcing him to back up. Cooper stood in between them and looked hopefully at Stella for a scrap. “You don’t eat eggplant, Coop.”

  Once Billy got home, she set the table and they sat down to eggplant rollatini, salad, and garlic bread.

  “Damn. This is so good.” Billy wiped his mouth with a paper towel. “I was going to eat Frito pie for dinner.”

  “What the fuck is Frito pie?” Stella asked.

  “You’ve never heard of Frito pie?” Billy acted utterly appalled and offended by her lack of knowledge.

  “Um, no.” She looked from Billy to Patrick, who was smirking.

  “Frito pie is one of the most delicious meals I can make myself.” Billy looked to the left and the right, then he whispered, “I’ve got a secret recipe.”

  “I don’t want your recipe. I just want to know what it is?”

  “It’s basically chili dumped on corn chips,” Patrick answered. “It’s disgusting.”

  “How dare you?” Billy feigned outrage. “My secret recipe includes cheese, jalapenos and salsa.”

  “Sorry to offend, but that sounds gross,” Stella said. She took a bite of her eggplant and set her fork down. “Listen, I know we haven’t seen each other that much this year because I’ve been so busy with school, but I just wanted to say thanks for helping out with Cooper when I haven’t been around.”

  “Not a problem,” Patrick said.

  “Who is Cooper?” Billy asked and then laughed.

  At the sound of his name, Cooper looked up from his position under the table, his tail swishing from side to side.

  Stella looked around at her family, the two people that helped her get through the last couple of years, and at Cooper, now the love of her life. All of a sudden it hit her like a bullet, she realized she was happy. Of course “happy” was relative. She was in law school and it was kicking her ass, but she was enjoying it. For the past several years she was sure she would, could never enjoy anything again. People like to throw around the old adage that time heals everything. That adage sucked because it felt condescending when someone else used it towards you. And it isn’t exactly helpful. She felt ready to admit that time makes things tolerable. Time gives you perspective on events that shake your world to the core. Time allows you to move forward. But time doesn’t change the pain that sits in your gut. It doesn’t impact the trickle of sweat and fear that traces your spine when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Time doesn’t alter how that pain changed your entire personality. In fact, time, which had made things tolerable, had actually allowed her to appreciate how precarious life was and gave her a little perspective. Maybe she needed to simply be enjoying life a little more. Maybe.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jamie had been dead for two years, she couldn’t believe it. The image of him smiling before he kissed her their last night together hadn’t faded, but she wasn’t having nightmares anymore. Now, she could go an hour without his memory invading her thoughts. Running helped keep her sane. It was when she did her best thinking. That, or she ran so fast and with the music so loud, she couldn’t think at all.

  For two years she couldn’t stand the quiet. Stella always had her television or music on, even when she studied. It drove Millie crazy. She also found that she was no longer a fan of being by herself. The quiet made her head pound, and she would get queasy with the quietness reverberating in her head, the quiet so loud it made her hands shake. It made her think she was losing her mind. The only time she appreciated time alone was working out and studying.

  Her second year in law school would start today, and looked to be even more daunting than the first. Evidence was one of the hardest courses in law school and it was required in order to graduate. Her professor was notorious for his Socratic method. He routinely made students stand up in class to interrogate them about cases or the Federal Rules of Evidence, which he had literally written. Millie was in her class, so at least she would have a study partner. She was also taking Administrative Law, Tax Law, and a seminar discussing the International Criminal Court. She was hoping to get an internship with the Department of Justice the following summer.

  Recently, Stella had quit her job at Cosi. She just didn’t think she manage it all this year. Reading a hundred pages a night minimum had been difficult last year while she was working, but working had been a necessity. She’d taken out more student loans this year so she wouldn’t need the extra money.

  She smiled as her phone rang the motorcycle ring tone. “Hi, Dad.”

  “You ready?” her father asked, knowing her answer.

  “Of course,” she answered without hesitation.
This had been the opening line for them every first day of a law school year. They talked for a while about politics and her mother’s latest obsession, scrapbooking. She hung up when she pulled into the parking garage, promising to call again later.

  Stella walked into the student lounge and saw Millie sitting on a couch with Davis. She smiled at them as she approached.

  “Stella, it’s good to see you.” Davis said from the couch. Millie raised her eyebrows at Stella.

  “You too, Davis. How was your summer?” she asked politely.

  “Great, I went back to Arizona and worked for my Dad’s law firm. It was awesome.”

  Stella wondered how working at a law firm your first year of law school would be awesome, but held her tongue.

  “Millie tells me we’re in a couple of classes together. We already have a study group,” he said, looking at Millie again.

  “You bet,” Millie answered enthusiastically.

  “Well, we should get going. I don’t want to be late the first day.” Stella turned.

  “Oh, and I already have an outline for Evidence that I heard is killer. I don’t mind sharing with the two most beautiful girls in class, my study partners.”

  Stella turned on her heel, her face registering shock and a little bit of awe. “You have an outline?”

  “Yep,” he smiled. “I’ll email it to you both. Let’s go.”

  Outlines were how all law students studied for finals, getting an Evidence outline was like winning the law school lottery. Maybe her luck was looking up, she thought. She put her arm through Millie’s and walked with her two study partners to class.

  Chapter Nineteen

  She’d finally agreed to come home. Standing in baggage claim, she was waited for her mother to pick her up from Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport. Her parents were having everyone over for Thanksgiving this year, and begged Stella to come. It had been over two years since she’d been home. Her mother convinced her that so much had happened, Jamie wouldn’t even be a topic of conversation. Stella had convinced herself that even if Jamie’s name came up, she could handle it now. Patrick was watching Cooper while she was gone.